Everyone is wondering how to create jobs in this New Global Economy. As usual, I went to Horse’s mouth to get answers, talking to the Commander-in-Chief and the country’s most successful businesswoman.
I joined Obama in the Oval Office, where he was focus group testing his latest plan: increased government spending on things like rebuilding collapsing infrastructure, and tax cuts for companies that do new hiring. He had a focus group of one, having recalled Boehner from his attempted vacation.
O: So, John, what do you think of my idea?
O: Why not? It would create some new jobs immediately, wouldn’t it?
O: Now, I know you’re worried about the spending part increasing the deficit, but isn’t it more important right now to focus on the job side?
Well, that didn’t seem to be going too well, so I called up Kim.
R: Kim, first off — and I feel like an idiot for having to ask you this — but I STILL don’t have my invitation to the wedding.
K: I will look into that.
R: Good. Congratulations, by the way. And, if it’s not too personal, a question. Does Kris know about, uh, your back story?
K: No, and it’s none of his business.
R: Are you sure? I mean, your life is kind of an open book.
K: Rupert, you are soooooooo a loser. I keep telling you: writing your book is the last thing you do.
R: Got it. Kim, do you think the answer to unemployment in this new, confusing Global Economy is for everyone to have their own Reality Show?
K: Well, no, of course not. You could go to college for four years, and then graduate school and become an engineer or something.
R: Really? Oh, I see, you’re pulling my leg….
K: Okay, Rupert, watch my lips, repeat after me: Reality Show, fragrance line, shoe line, magazine cover shoot….
Much as I hate to admit it, she is kinda cool. Still going to overtake her, though. After Saturday, things are really gonna slow down for her, I believe that.