Welcome to Our World!

24 August 2012

Of Course You Can Have the Complete Works of Shakespeare for your 1st Birthday

The Tiger Grandpa (that’s me) was on hand to welcome Ford Autzen Houser into the world last week, and I’m happy to say he’s doing fine. He’s unusually precocious for his age, and can already sustain an adult level conversation, as illustrated by our first serious man-to-baby talk below:

Ford: So, what’s it like out here, Grandpa? Am I going to like life on the outside?

Tiger Grandpa: Oh, undoubtedly. My generation has worked hard to make this world a better place than when I was your age, and I don’t think anyone would dispute that we’ve succeeded beyond our wildest dreams.

Ford: For example?

TG: Well, for example, when I was your age, my share of the National Debt was only $1,696.44.

Ford: How much is mine?

TG: $50,947.37

Ford: And that’s a good thing?

TG: Well, of course. This will encourage your generation to work extra hard to dig your way out of the hole. In fact, I have a copy of the classified ads right here, we could see if there’s anything suitable for you…

Ford: Wow, 50 grand! We must have done a lot of great things with all that money, eh Grandpa?

TG: Oh, absolutely. We fought a worthless war, we wrecked our financial system…. I could go on and on.

Ford: Your generation has done a hecka of a job, Grandpa.

Rupert Scofield


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