Handicapping the GOP Field

15 August 2011

There was an interesting Op Ed in the NYT this morning by Warren Buffet, complaining that, while he is taxed at the rate of 17%, the drones in his office at Berskhire Hathaway are taxed at 33% to 41%. He thinks that is unfair, and wants Congress to “Stop Coddling the Super Rich” like himself.

I understand that Boehner is frantically buying up every copy of today’s NYT and shredding them before anyone else sees it.

So it’s down to Romney, Bachmann and Perry. Romney is the most intelligent, competent and qualified of the lot, so obviously doesn’t stand a chance with the GOP base. Besides, Romney himself doesn’t know where he stands on most of the issues, so how could anyone else? He is the Al Gore of the GOP field: with a wooden, room clearing appeal that says “So I’m worth a quarter of a billion, so what? I’m just like you!”

Then we have Bachmann. Oy, veh. Unlike most Republican politicians who pretend to be religious, she’s the real thing. We both read Alley Oop comics as children, but she internalized them and still does think man co-existed with dinosaurs. She would teach creationism instead of Darwin in public schools, which would really gives an edge over the Chinese when it comes to science.

Perry is my hands on bet for the one who will go all the way. The Reagan BS is second nature to him, sliding out of his mouth with a facility that would have left the Gipper himself envious. But it’s when the camera zooms in on his beady little eyes that you realize: “OMG! It’s the reincarnation of Nixon!” If you could make a candidate through gene splicing you couldn’t do better.

Watching him on CNN in New Hampshire you could almost see the bubble coming out of his head: “It took Bush 8 years to destroy America. I can do it in two.”

Rupert Scofield


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