Winding down after a mad 10-day run which included 3 speaking engagements and dozens of lunches and dinners with interesting people wanting to help us get FINCA UK into high gear, all against the backdrop of a crumbling Eurozone and the ever wonderful antics of Those Wild And Crazy GOP candidates.
Poor Romney, how could he possibly compete? He should withdraw now. He stands out in that line up like an Ozzie-and-Harriet throwback to the 50s when America still knew who we were and where we were going. Contrast that with Tongue-Tied Rick, who offers another Celebrate-Our-Ignorance candidate in the Bush-Palin mode, who can’t even remember which parts of the government he will destroy when he takes power. And what can we say about Hands-On Herman, aka The Octopus, who would use our tax dollars to purchase upgrades for his harrassment targets?
I can’t think about that now. I can’t think about that tomorrow.
I’ve got to put on my ‘Wedding Face’.
Kim, this is going to be really hard. I don’t know how to say this, other than to just say it.
I’m unfollowing you.
Whew! OMG! I can’t believe I’m doing this! We’ve been in this relationship for – what? — over four months now? Five? This is soooooooo difficult!
Listen to me, I even sound like you. And let me say this, Kim: you changed me. Before we began this affaire du coer, I thought people from The Valley led materialistic, vapid lives. Now, I’m sure of it. I mean, there was Madonna, the original ‘Material Girl’, but OMG, Kim, you so top her. And Madonna would occasionally leaven her image with something close to substance, like that song she wrote “Live to Tell”, or the so-bad-they-were-good movies she used to make, like “Swept Away”.
Which brings me to the really hard part, where I answer the “Why?” question, which I know you’re going to ask me. (And, yes, I do feel like a coward, breaking up with you via retweet – and I can just hear your friends, Sugar Ray, the Williams sisters, and rest ‘He WHAT???!!! OMG, that SOB!!!!!!!’)
So here it is, kid: I find you utterly, stultifying, boring.
Oh, and don’t think this is because of you and Kris. I found you boring even before you got married. I mean, really, is there nothing to life other than perfume, shoes, having your nails done, and hanging out at high end clubs? No? Okay, just asking.
Kim – and you HAVE to believe this; this comes from someone who has been on both the sharp and dull edge of unrequited love – there will come a day when you think to yourself ‘Wow, a whole hour went by, and I didn’t think of Rupert once!’ And then it will be two hours, and then three, and one fine day…..
So tomorrow when you wake up and open up your twitter account and find that you have one less Follower (9,508,671 instead of 9,508,672), please don’t hate me. Just because I now have 92, which means that, yes, I would have overtaken you before the end of the year.
Kim, it’s been real. And please don’t take this the wrong way, but you need to get a life. A real one, not play one on TV.
(Confidential to my subscribers/Followers: I am doing the right thing, right? This is the best thing for all of us?)
Our intrepid explorers make additional — and surprising — discoveries as they circumambulate “the Giant Water”